By Melissa P.,Lawrence Venuti
It opens innocently sufficient: the diary starts with a tone of self-absorbed adolescent wistfulness. The fourteen-year-old Melissa starts off taking notes approximately her emotions in the course of a truly scorching summer time. Her bed room is plastered with Klimt posters and pictures of Marlene Dietrich. She is a loner, keen on classical track. She examines her physique within the replicate, pleasurably but with no desire.Her buddy Alessandra introduces her to Daniele, an eighteen-year-old who intrigues her. She is embarrassed while he asks her if she is a virgin and he or she says certain. He invitations her to his domestic to move swimming, and after cornering her in a secluded room and kissing her passionately, he asks, Do you're feeling like doing it?” She declines coyly, yet quickly he's pushing her face under his waist. whilst she takes his penis in her mouth, he comes instantly. Is this the best way it’s done?” she asks him. He isn’t really nice to her, however the act fills her with a strange contentment.”The diary then jumps to her 15th birthday, after which Daniele’s 19th. She is smitten with him, can’t maintain her brain on her Latin classes, tells him she desires to make love, yet he responds that she doesn’t even know the way to suck him off.” She depicts her mom and dad as no longer very worrying of her, and feels unloved. She begins masturbating habitually and at last deals herself to Daniele, who tells her that he’ll have intercourse along with her provided that their dating is still in basic terms sexual. She hopes that it'll become love. whilst she arrives to have intercourse with him, he mistreats her; while he ultimately penetrates her and she or he claims to not believe any soreness, he accuses her of mendacity to him approximately being a virgin. they start to fulfill usually to have intercourse at the seashore, yet she is unhappy, indifferent, deeply harm through his abusive remedy. She feels to blame and unhappy whilst she confronts Daniele together with his abuse of her, and he's humiliated: he bursts into tears. She stops seeing him, however the reduction is blended with the will for self-punishmentOne day at a faculty meeting, she flirts with one of many visitor audio system, an highbrow legislations scholar named Roberto. even though he has a female friend, he's intrigued by means of Melissa, who's tiny, status at 5 toes, and invitations her to an deserted nation residence. he's brutal, tells her he desires her to scream, showers her with obscenities, and he or she complies, yet is eventually indifferent from the act, distanced by way of his instructions and his foul language. nonetheless, she is particularly a lot up to the mark once they meet, she strokes his macho ego and is amused by means of his transformation from the well-mannered man to the passionate lover. She starts off to find issues approximately males and the faces they wear to satisfy the worldOn her 16th birthday, Roberto arranges a celebration” for her: he is taking her to an deserted residence and blindfolds her, whereupon she is stripped via him and 4 different males who take turns caressing her. She is intermittently excited and at one element, in the course of a pause within the motion, thinks approximately leaving, yet doesn’t. She is then made to kneel down and provides head to all 5 them, in succession, until eventually they ejaculate. After the oral intercourse, they take turns mounting her. I felt invaded, dirtied,” she writes upon her go back domestic. Then I brushed my hair 100 occasions, as princesses do, my mom regularly says.” the subsequent access starts with vast irony: her mom asks, Did you've gotten enjoyable final night?” She suspects her daughter of smoking pot, yet Melissa simply feels empty.” The query of self-love is raised back, and he or she distinguishes among the lady who didn't love herself final evening and the lady who does this morning.The subsequent a number of entries change among 3 diverse narrative threads, sexual relationships that commence on the net. Melissa meets a lesbian referred to as Letizia, who intrigues her. They alternate pictures and speak at the cell. I’m pondering (or perhaps...